Monday, June 13, 2011

One Fish, Two Fish, Hot Fish, Cold Fish

Pop quiz! How do you get from fishing in Colorado to pick-up artist misogyny?

A quick Googling, of course!

So I'm reading my Facebook news feed today, all happy-go-lucky, sharing awesome cello videos and collecting Gardens of Time bonuses, when I come across a posting from the state of Colorado fan page talking about all the fishing you can do in this beautiful state of ours. The page mentions catching "hot and cold fish", which phrase I have never heard. More to the point, my former Alaskan salmon-seining husband has never heard it. Off to Google!

Which ably answered the question - warm fish like warm water, cold fish, cold. Makes sense. But amid all the  links to Wikipedia and Yahoo!Answers was this gem, right on the first page of the search:

How To Warm Up A Defensive Cold Fish? HELP!! 

God, I don't know, how would you warm up a fish? Microwave? Oven?

Oh, wait - did you mean you want a human being to like and trust you? Well, here's a tip: Don't call her a fish. 

Gah. I shouldn't be so irritated before I'm even out of pajamas.

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Gimme some eggs for my bacon!