Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Why Bacon Watches Television

I recently joined an online community for mothers in my area. With educational choices looming on the very near horizon and being new to the state, I thought it would be helpful, even if I just lurked. One of the community features is a blog written by several of the active members. I've been cruising through the archives, stopping at topics that interest me, learning how other people parent. With my part-time daycare gig, getting a handle on other parents is a must.

But for fuck's sake, people, if turning off the television has turned your child into an oversensitive mess who can't follow the plot of a movie, you've done something wrong.

This woman wrote a blog post about how her six-year-old is just so "sensitive" he can't watch Curious George without worrying that George won't get out of trouble.

I'll wait for you to catch your eyes as they roll across the floor. Back in? Good. Let's continue.

Apparently, the kid's only allowed to watch The Wiggles (shudder on so many levels, the least of which is musical) and Disney movies. But he can't make it more than 10 minutes into a Disney movie, because of the aforementioned "sensitivity". This makes it difficult for him to relate to his kindergarten peers because - of course! - he's "one of the youngest" in his class. Which is code for "my kid's SO SMART, he just had to start school younger than everyone else!"

You know what we called smart, oversensitive kids when I was one? Sissies. Nerds. Losers. LAMEASSES.

I'm not endorsing name-calling by any means. It's cruel, it's rude, and it's not a habit I'd want my child to get into. But I also wouldn't want my kid to BE a lameass, and thus, I've actually tried to give her a couple of social skills here and there. Not crying at the drop of a hat, following a damn storyline, and being able to relate to children her age are pretty much considered requirements in the Bacon household. I have told my daughter, more than once, to "man up". Crying irritates me.

And if this were just one pretentious mother, bemoaning how awful television is that she couldn't show it to her Pweshous, and now she doesn't know how to get him to relate to all the other six-year-old cretins whose barbarian parents allow them to watch Star Wars, I'd roll my eyes and be done with it. But wouldn't you know it - 15 comments' worth of "I let my kids watch too much 'Wiggles' and I regret it!" and "Good for you for not letting him watch movies - he'll be fine!"

Yeah. When the big man on campus knocks his head in for crying, I'm sure he'll be "fine". Way to go, Mom - you've raised a complete loser!

1 comment:

  1. I found your blog from that website - and I couldn't agree more!!! I have a friend with a kid my child's age and they couldn't watch Nemo together because he gets too upset at the beginning.

    Some parents get too oversensitive to everything then of course give you their advice constantly since you're doing things wrong in their eyes. It makes me want to ...


Gimme some eggs for my bacon!